“Everything is temporary” a blog on depression
Needless to say, 2020 has been an eventful year. I ended 2020 very ill. (Later, learning’s this was COV-19). I began the year unemployed. Little did I know that the Lord was setting the kid up! Initially, besides being happy for the release from balancing a full time job, doctoral school and full-full time ministry, I found myself confused. Much like the dark time I faced in 2014 after my brothers suicide, I had to quietly step away from everything and everyone to do some self-reflection.
Naturally, this also meant a time of depression. Coming from depression, many options to choose. The obvious one is to sulk until your mind drives you to commit suicide. Another is to go through the spiritual dark path (awakening) seeking answers! I chose to take the time to inquire of God. In my journey, much like a Phoenix rising from ashes, I decided to chill in the ashes until it was time to come out evolved. Introspection is the best spiritual cleanse!
In my much needed time away from the noise of busy-ness, I’ve learned a few simple life lessons. The most important is that EVERYTHING is temporary. That includes relationships with people, situations, one’s own life, happiness, and depression are all temporary. Although this may sound “dark,” this is a tough but necessary lesson that I had to learn. I spent the past few months asking God many questions about situations and people and what I’ve gathered is that it is ALL temporary. The bad news is that loss is inevitable. The great news is that everything is temporary!! So sorrow can nit stay forever! Eventually, wounds heal and the cycle of life continues. Part of this cycle for me has been to recognize that everything is temporary so I had to incorporate gratitude!! Gratitude for the little things.
Every day I wake up and hear the birds outside my window in the North East or hear the sound of the rooster crow in the south, I’m grateful. I’ve lives in my home for over 5 years and didn’t notice that the birds chirp every morning until my time alone. I’ve also lived in my childhood home since the early 2000’s and didn’t notice that there’s always some rooster crowing every morning!! In my silence, I was able to hear God, simply through the beauty in His creation. Nature. I’ve never been a ‘nature girl’ until I realized that’s where I find my peace. Just like back in 2014, I needed to find peace and I just didn’t know where to begin until I started taking ‘walks with God’ outdoors. Man, it changed my life. Then I got to ‘safety’ and decided that I could take breaks from those necessary walks. Then came the weight gain physically and mentally. My biggest take away from 2020’s strike of depression is that gratitude is necessary!! Gratitude is the only way! Especially once you recognize that everything is temporary. I have learned that it is easy to do the seemingly ‘impossible’ on several occasions.
One case is a child with endless faith (until taught not to believe). No wonder the Bible talks about having childlike faith… children are brave! I watch my 3 year old God daughter do things I struggle with daily, like be blunt. She will (in my face) tell her mom that she’s “not my friend” because I put her on time out. Later she will be fine and playing or singing with me. But I find it hard for me to tell a friend or family member when I’m offended. Ok still not sure why, but it’s clear that in those instances, I could use the bravery and faith of a child.
Another occasion one can “do the impossible” is during the season in which they’re suffering. This includes times when you feel doomed or depressed. Examples include what I shared, loss of a loved one can put you on a dark place. And just a random depression onset by many different things can take one to a very similar dark place.
The final example (for the sake of this blog) of an occasion where one can do the impossible is if they have a ‘woke’ mind that simply believes in the impossible! No explanation needed here, it’s simple, after a spiritual awakening, you just see life and the world differently. This causes you to realize that the world is truly full of opportunities and you can indeed do the ‘impossible!’
I believe that since everything is temporary… May as well live a life filled with faith-FULL risks and get the ‘impossible’ done! So cheers to you (the reader) getting the impossible done. Gain some much needed bold, childlike bravery and faith and tackle that impossible task that someone once said you couldn’t do it that you-yourself have doubted you could do. I’m up for the challenge to do the impossible today, starting with working on these Fall syllabi! Then, I can study for my qualifying exam! Y’all keep me in your prayers as I will you. I can’t promise frequent posts these days, but know I’m always thinking of you and looking for like lessons to share with you. Baby steps and we can certainly do the impossible. I’m already proud of you!!
Until next post…