Be Selfish – Mind Yo Business!!

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Mind Your Business

Noone else will mind your business for you!

Pastor Alexa told me to build my dream or get hired to build someone else’s dreams!!

Translation: Build the ‘Kencia’ ((insert your name)) business. If I don’t then who will!?!?

Use Your Time Wisely

Take your time seriously. For example: this business (meaning Kencia’s hour of public operation) shuts down at 10pm! No phone calls after that time or before 10am. I set up a Do Not Disturb setting that actually prevents me from receiving or noticing calls/texts after during this time-frame. It forces me to have some sort of quiet time before I go to bed and when I wake up in the morning. There are days when I make exceptions to the rule and find myself out later than usual or on the phone at that time, but generally I’m closed for business at 10:00pm.

You can’t go to stores before their hours of operation. Same here. Schedule your days. It is imperative to schedule your days using whatever method works best for you. This can be to-do lists or calendars. When you assign tasks to days/times you are much more likely to get it done.

Invest in your business

Get some skin in the game. We’ve got to believe in ourselves like people trust in popular companies (i.e. Amazon or Chick-fil-a). I love how big name companies make their CEOs invest in that company so they have ‘skin in the game.’ They sweat when the company loses and rejoice when they win. Same here!! How can we get skin in the game!? How can youinvest in yourself? Is that by scheduling mini vacations to mediate? Going to school to do that random thing you always wanted to do (e.g. fashion, music, film, MBA)? Or just practicing the art of saying No!!

Just Say NO!

Be bold, stop trying to be nice and just say no. We have to practice the art of listening to our gut! ((Man, oh man, has this been a huge lesson for me!!!)) Say no to people, so you can say yes to yourself. You will never be able to be in two places at the same time. You also will never be able to succeed at your goals if you cannot focus your energy on one task at a time. Although one can multitask, one cannot do two tasks at the very same time. You have got to start with one thing. Focus your energy. Then move on to the next. I loved this post I found on IG: @heyamberrae

sayNo 

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Noone can ever invest in you like you. Sometimes we might want people to do for us or give to us but the truth is they won’t always get it right!! You know just how to love you right, the first time. So don’t stretch yourself thin building other people’s dreams. Say no, so you can begin to say yes to your own dreams. 

I hope you were encouraged by this DIME. Slowly build your dreams. Invest in you. Make time for you. And say no to anything that stands in the way of that!!

Until Next Post…

~ Kence

 
 

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Closed Door Blessings

Closed Door Blessings

 
Its not all over when a door in your life is shut! God is working it out for ya!

 

 Until next post…

~ Kence

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Why God Put Donkey’s in Your Life

Why the Whole Donkey Analogy??!?

Today I was reading Numbers chapter 22 and saw a DIME I had to share! So I won’t write the entire chapter out but please go and read it.

So the Lord tells Balaam not to go curse the people from Egypt (v. 1-19). Eventually after much persistence, God says to Balaam he can go speak to Balak but only do what He says (v. 20).

This is where it gets interesting (for me)!

So Balaam is riding a donkey. Minding his own business. On his way to Balak. I guess he forgot to consult with the Lord… So the Lord caused his donkey to see (what Balaam could not see) an angel that stood in the path to oppose him (v. 22). So since the donkey could see, it did what it could to avoid the angel. So the donkey veered off the road (Balaam beat him), then the angel appeared in another narrow path so the donkey squeezed past, crushing Balaam’s foot trying to avoid the angel. Balaam beat him again! Then the angel appeared in a very narrow place (where there was no room to get around it) with its sword drawn, so the donkey had no choice but to lay down under Balaam. Of course Balaam was not happy so he beat the donkey some more! (V. 21-27).

The Lord caused the donkey to open his mouth to tell his master, Balaam, ((Kence translation)) “Bruh!! You Keep beating me, you act like you don’t know how I move! I’m always getting you where you got to go! Why you keep beating me, son!?! I’m loyal to you. I’m all you got! Them other donkeys don’t hold it down like me, bro. You know that!” Balaam responds: “You disrespectful! You lucky I can’t find my pocket knife, I’d swipe you quick fast!!” ((Real version is in Numbers 22:28-30))

So the Lord finally opens Balaam’s eyes to see! And he sees the angel in front of him Then bows down. “The angel of the Lord asked him, “Why have you beaten your donkey these three times? I have come here to oppose you because your path is a reckless one before me.” (Numbers 22:31-32 NIV)

DIME: Divine Inspiration Meant to Encourage Spiritually

As I read this, I thought about situations where I should have been obedient to God or should have been consulting with Him to see how he wants me to move… In my lack of obedience, God is still sovereign and He’s doing what He has to do for His will to be done and ultimately to work things out for my good!

In reading about the donkey, I wonder how many donkeys are in our lives. This could be a person or a situation, heck might even be a thing like a job. They see what we do not see and do things that force you to make a maneuver you weren’t anticipating. They are simply put there by the Lord to ‘order our steps’. If it were not for the donkey in our lives, we would likely go down a disruptive path! But God knows best and has sent it to save us from the path we would have naturally chosen. Yet we get upset. We ‘beat the donkey’ that was really just doing what it was purposed to do.

Therefore, my beautiful people, this DIME was simple to me. Let us appreciate the donkeys in our lives. Ask the Lord to open our eyes to see what He is doing for us. If the Lord is stopping something we cannot see, do not get mad at the donkey! The Donkey is doing its job. Figure out (in that prayer closet) whether you are in line and obeying the Lord. Your actions and your decisions should align with His purpose so He does not have to do any major donkey moves to get you to notice him working!

My friends, let us be more attentive and obedient to what the Lord is saying. And if you don’t hear anything, don’t move until you know!! That is, after all, what got Balaam beating his poor donkey anyway… I pray that this DIME did exactly what it was purposed to do, encourage you. Let me know if you can think of some donkeys that seemed annoying of out of line but looking with your spiritual eyes in hindsight, you know that the Lord was doing something to get you to a different place! Comment. Like. And share this DIME. Someone needs to be encouraged about a stubborn donkey in their life.

Until next post…

~Kence

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Build a Man!?!: but…Watch Out for ‘That Thang!’🤔

Many know im a Lauryn Hill fan. Thought about her song “that thing” and I started to think, maybe everyone doesn’t fall in those categories. Basically in the song she says guys only want one thing (the cookie) and girls only want one thing (the money). So I did some thinking and decided that I think there’s another ‘thing’ that other guys and girls want. Guys want convenience and girls with attention.

For my fellas:

They like convenience. I want to be careful not to offend here because it can be good or bad. Basically, men don’t just get caught up in a relationship because it was convenient: The lady has been around and it’s just easier to stay and do this or that shes the first pretty thang to come show you some attention or what you haven’t seen before. Men, you have got to be more intentional about finding their good thing! So ladies, watch out for the men that kind of just slide into a relationship with you. He should intentionally seek you out. Court you. Find you! Do what it takes to get and keep your attention. Let him chase!

Ladies:

An old friend of mine once told me a mans job is 3 things: provision, affection and attention. He hit it on the head!! If a lady like myself could ask for a very short list if I were building a man, it would certainly begin like that! Provision is basic: make sure I have what I need. Affection: show the kid some love!! Never has to be sex, actually proves best when it isn’t sex. When its not jut sex he wants or tries to get, its clear that he’s actually trying to genuinely show me affection!! Like doing little corny things to make me feel loved and appreciated. Lastly, a girl just needs a little attention! Call me sometime. Text me here or there. Flirt with me via text. Write a sticky note on my mirror reminding me how beautiful I am even post morning breath! I love to remind my guy friends in relationships of these simple tools to make their ladies feel like they have your attention. No need to be super needy, ladies. But you definately should let your man know how he can provide for you, show you affection and give you attention. Men: be careful of the needy ladies looking to just get the next man to sponsor them, fill-in when they want some attention or affection because the last guy broke their hearts. Men, be careful not to be the next rebound for a lady.

Above all else, guard your hearts!!! Pray about everything. Ask the Lord for discernment. May the Lord grant us this as we move forward in our search for Kingdom minded spouses or as we strengthen our current relationships.

Until Next Post…

~ Kence 😘

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Watch Out for the ‘Supporting Haters!’

Beware of the “Supporting Hater”

 We all have them… the ‘supporting haters’ in our midst. They appear to be friends or friendly but it feels like they are out to get you.  Almost like wolves in sheep’s clothing. A few examples can a co-worker that compliments your outfit but then ends up gossiping about your attire to someone else in the office (‘she thinks she’s cute!’ or ‘did you see how tight her dress was?!’). Another example is the friend of yours that should be happy to know you were engaged or having a baby but as she says congratulations, you can’t help but to notice her sour face as if she really isn’t happy for your new achievement.

We all have some sort of ‘supporting’ hater nearby. They don’t always have to be friends but they’re there. Sometimes it’s a complete stranger that comes up to you on an off day and sarcastically says I like your hair, and you know darn well your hair is a hot mess! What do you do? Do you retort and say “I know you think you’re being funny but I know I’m having a bad hair day,” do you ignore? Do you snap back and talk about their downfall(s)? In this post, I want to share biblically supported actions to take when dealing with the supporting haters around you.

Avoid these people

Proverbs 20:19 say: A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid anyone who talks too much.

Realize that you cannot be heroic! Sometimes only God can save people from the mess that they are in and teach them the lesson. When you recognize the stubborn folks that are hard headed and may never change the bad habit of talking about people, you’ve got to just leave them alone! You may need to see these people in your everyday life. They may be coworkers, or in ministry with you. Best course of action is to not do any extra (unnecessary) activities with them. Steer clear. You won’t get entangled in their dramatic shenanigans if you are only around when you need to be around. Be sure that you set an example when you are around. Above all else we should love our neighbors, even when they don’t seem lovable.

Watch and Pray

Luke 21:36: Be always on the watch, and pray that you may be able to escape all that is about to happen, and that you may be able to stand before the Son of Man.”
Matthew 5:44 But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you

Now that you recognize the people around you that are ‘supporting haters,’ … WATCH OUT! You see that they aren’t necessarily looking out for your best interest but this does not excuse you from the commandment to love them. Now all you need to do is pray for them. Be sure to pray for these people because you can never be sure what they are suffering from. The fruit of gossip or hating is coming from a deeper root. That root can be jealousy, resentment, or even something that stems from childhood that had nothing to do with you. These fruits never grow overnight; they stem from longstanding (sometimes reoccurring) issues in their lives. They must be uprooted, only prayer can do this.

All in all, be compassionate with the supporting haters. There is a reason for their actions that many times you will never know. So watch out for the supporting haters, but continue to love them and pray for them. It seems like it’s easier said than done, but once you genuinely start praying for them, your heart will change toward them and it will get easier to love them from a distance. See them through the eyes of the Lord (lenses of grace and patience). I pray that you all found this helpful. This is a lesson that I am constantly walking through and praying for the Lord’s guidance. I pray that even as these supporting haters come, you will easily be able to recognize them and you will not be fooled by their tactics that will drive you to anger or other sins. Know who you are! You are a child of the Most High, you do not need anyone’s approval but Him.

 

Until next post…

  • Kence

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Balling on a Budget

The Cheap Woman with a Lexus

This is what my sinking fund envelops look like

                                                        {This is what my sinking fund envelops look like}

I wanted to address this balling on a budget matter and express what it means to me. So I own a 2012 Lexus ES 350. No lie, that was the worst purchase I ever made. It’s a great car and I haven’t had any major issues with it but I was a silly girl fresh out of school thinking I was a baller.

 I graduated college in 2012 and thought “I can afford $450 payment” so let’s do it! When I purchased the car, I vowed to pay more than the payment so that I could pay it off early… SMH. So I made payments of $800 each and every month, yes I paid it off early but the way the interest was catching up to me, it wasn’t that much earlier (about 1.5 yrs earlier). I like to say that I got the Lexus by being cheap with everything else. That’s a half-truth because I know it was really just me being senseless and having to finish paying for my stupid. Sometime after I lost my job and was without a full-time job for about 2 years, life hit me and I had to figure out this whole money thing and exactly what it meant to be a steward of what the Lord has given me.

The Budget Life

Let me just start by saying budgeting is probably the hardest skill for the first 2-3 months! I struggled, trying not to struggle! I generally operate well under pressure so I had to almost scare myself into it. So I researched statistics on the American struggle. I learned that over 70% of Americans are living paycheck to paycheck (that was definitely me!), most of us don’t think about retirement and just casually save (that was me, again!), and so I knew there needed to be a shift! I continued to read more books and watch educational videos and seminars for finance and learned that if I don’t start now, I won’t be able to tell the Lord, I took what He gave me and doubled it up like the men in the parable of the talents (Matthew 25: 14-30). So I started budgeting… And sure enough, once I put my expenses on paper, I was managing my money better! I have not completely mastered the investing thing, but I am confident that my consistent budgeting will serve me and my family well.

Tips to Start Balling on a Budget

  1. Start! There are so many budgeting apps available on your phone. You can even be a super nerd and do an excel worksheet. I like to use the EveryDollar app and for some major things I use excel so that I can do nerdy calculations, but for the most part, the app works for me.
  2. Ditch the cards and use cash! My ‘uncle’ Dave likes to say, “Cash is King!” He’s not lying! I had a leak somewhere in my car and the people at Lexus told me that it was $1400. Kence 3 years ago would have had a whole heart attack and used a credit card. That day, I had a mini heart attack and went to my car expense envelop and paid cash. No lie, the face on the cashier was priceless. I promise it looked like she thought I had a drug dealing sugar daddy! LOL
  3. Address your Debt. In order to be a good steward over our finances, we must recognize that the borrower is indeed a slave to the lender (Proverbs 22:7). I’m not saying ditch your bills and everyday needs and go crazy to pay all your debt. But budget, get serious, make a plan and pay off your debt!! Free up some of your money by cutting down on the shopping and the indulgences of ‘balling.’ We have got to move to a place where we are not trying to keep up with the Jones’ and really live under our means. I learned that lesson when I was paying $800 on a Lexus that did everything everyone else’s car did! It was definitely an overpriced toy. If I knew what I know now, I would have bought the car cash 4 years later and paid 60% less than what I paid from buying it brand new!
  4. Track Your Expense. The app I use allows me to track how much I spend in different categories. Although I operate in cash, I still track my expenses by having my money in categories. For example, I have a groceries budget of $200 per month. I take out $200 in cash and put it in a grocery envelop. When I remove the money from my bank account, I track it on the app (to show the money is gone) and under the merchant (where I spent the money) I say CASH. I even track the little things. Sometimes, I feel moved to give a donation to the homeless person on the corner, I track it. If I have to swipe my debit card for $0.69 at Walmart because I am short cash, I track that! I’ve learned through weight watchers, if you don’t track it, you are only fooling yourself. If you use the money, track it so you know where/how you spent it!
  5. Recognize your Needs & Wants. Lastly, separate the needs from the wants and prepare for everything! We need food, clothes and shelter. After that, the rest of your money can be spread based on your lifestyle. I will share some of my categories of money. Tithe, saving, rent, groceries, mobile phone, cable/internet, entertainment (audible, apple music), restaurants, gas/oil, transportation, hair/nails, clothing, gifts, debt payments/sinking fund, vacation fund, and pocket money.

My very own tips/tricks:  I am very specific with my categories!! I don’t leave room for surprise purchases. Every month changes but by now, I am pretty good with preparation for all purchases. If I buy concert tickets or pay for a conference, I charge that to the entertainment. I have a gas/oil category and transportation. Generally, just gas goes to gas and any other mini car expense (tolls, car wash, etc.) goes to transportation.

Gifts. I am a gift giver, so I had to make gifts its own category. Some months I one or two birthdays. Other months I have 3 weddings, a baby shower and 5 birthdays. That category can get crazy. So If I don’t use the money from the month before, I save it for the following month (especially in the summer- there seems to be a lot of celebrating!) Also for Christmas, I spread that out over a couple of months, using the gifts fund. I buy thoughtful gifts under my budget, and save the leftover money so that I accumulate for the holiday season or major gifting months.

Travel. I love to travel but recognize that I can’t play rich and swipe for trips! So I save for them. I have a debt fund (AKA Sinking fund). It’s pretty much a multi-purpose fund where I make my own ‘credit card’ for myself. I do not have any credit card or loan debt, in order to keep things that way, I plan for unexpected costs and future travel! If you every start googling or minding other people’s business on social media, you will see some ad about a cheap ticket or getaway. I hated those because I would always want to buy! I found that with this vacation sinking fund, it helps me find the money for last minute sales or my regular travel plans for the year. Each month I contribute a few dollars toward that fund so when the sales come, I go to that envelop and use the cash to make payment.

Unexpected Car Expenses. Same thing goes for car expenses. I plan for the rainy days ahead. I never know when I will need a new tire or something funny breaks under the hood, but generally as the car ages, you can expect that it will happen! So I plan for it. Like that example above, I have to replace a leaking something. I have an unexpected car expense envelop where I prepare for the rain (outside of my emergency fund). I go there when an oil change is not just an oil change and I got to dish out a little more. And of course, when you use the money, you have got to remember to pay it back!! Think of it like a credit card. You want to free up room for use. So if you wipe it clean like I did with that $1400 unexpected expense, the next few months, you should be slowly adding money back there.

 

All in all, Get the budgeting!!  I hope this helps anyone thinking about managing their money better. Just do it! We must be able to account for all that we have and what we did with it. Don’t be the one that sat on your money and did nothing or the one that spent it all on junk! If you like junk, plan for it. Have a junk fund. But don’t spend all your money there. Also, you should also be saving toward having an emergency fund. The Emergency fund is for a true emergency, like losing a job. Anything else, is simply a lack of preparation. Prepare for what you know is coming. I hope you all were encourage to keep your finances in check! Let me know if you have questions you want me to address. I truly have a passion for finances and would love to share what I have learned through the years.

 

 

$tunting!

   $tunting!

 

 

This is my budget envelops that I fill w/ cash every month to spend

This is my budget envelops that I fill w/ cash every month to spend

 

 

Me being a good steward and organizing my financial life!

 

Me being a good steward and organizing my financial life!

The name of the game is telling your money where to go, so you know where it went!

The name of the game is telling your money where to go, so you know where it went!

 

 

Happy Stuffing!!

Happy Stuffing!!

 

Until next post…

~ Kence

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Don’t Bury Your Talent!

In the past month, I went away for a well needed time away. I went on a mini tour. Went to a cruise with my friend and my god daughter, then we church hopped in several cities in Florida, then I went to Pinky Promise in Atlanta, Georgia. Throughout that time, I was silent because I wanted to receive all that the Lord was showing/telling me and really just wanted to unplug and be refreshed. It was such a great time away!! Sometimes we’ve got to take a break from pouring into others so that you can receive. While I was away the Lord started to remind me of the talent that I keep trying to keep in a hole. My voice. My song.

My friends know that I sometimes suffer from extremely random shyness. Sometimes that thing is crazy! I am an outspoken person but can really find myself super shy when it comes to certain things (like singing). It’s almost crazy how I can speak to thousands of people at work but I have such a hard time singing in front of two. So I have been on a hunt to find my song (that thing I once buried). This has truly been such a hard lesson for me. Hence the long silence because I didn’t know what to tell the people.

The Lord reminded me of the story of the talents from Matthew 25:15-30. Basically the Master gave three people with talents according to their abilities. To one he gave 5 talents, to another 2, and to the other 1 talent. Later the Master returned to see what they did with the talents that He entrusted them with. The first two people doubled theirs, the last one that only had 1 talent, decided to hide it underground until the Master came back for it. Needless to say, Master was disappointed and took his one and gave it to the one who had ten.

I have heard this so many times but I definitely never stopped to think that I was the guy with the 1 talent. Singing has always been that talent I would just bury and pull it out for the master when it was time for the check-in (basically sing in the background). Sure enough, the Lord made it clear that I was not using my talent the way that I should. I should be making it grow, nurture it! In January this year, after years of fighting with the Lord, I joined the worship team (still currently dragging my feet to obedience). I found myself in a place where I could sing but “please no solos.” Too much attention to this talent that caused me to want to bury it further. So of course fear of judgement has always been surrounding my singing. At the conference in Atlanta, I attended a worship leaders workshop and they made it so simple. Keep singing so that you can keep singing. It is now my goal to use my talent to generate a better talent. Sounds overly simple but I know that it was not a co-incidence that the Word was aligned with that super simply lesson about how to perfect my skills as a worship leader. So now, if they pass me a mic, I wipe away the nervous tear and I step up to the challenge so that when the Master returns and asks me about this talent, I can be just as proud as the man with ten talents (who got that extra one in the end for his faithful work).

DIME: Nourish the talent(s) the Lord gave to you! If not, you may find that He takes it away from you. Don’t be mad at the one person that always seems to have/be good at everything. Be faithful with the little gift the Lord has given you and watch Him multiply it and then tell you Well done!

I pray you are blessed by this DIME. Let’s go out boldly and use our talents for the glory of the Lord and watch Him supply you with more!

Until next post…

~ Kence  

My Bestfriend & God Daughter posing before their bday dinner on the cruise

My Bestfriend & God Daughter posing before their bday dinner on the cruise

Posing before we leave stop 2. Tampa, to Oviedo, to Orlando.

Posing before we leave stop 2. Tampa, to Oviedo, to Orlando.

Pinky Promise 2018

Posing in front of Pinky Promise backdrop

Posing in front of Pinky Promise backdrop

Trying to distract myself from my driver on my way back to Pink Promise conference

Trying to distract myself from my driver on my way back to Pink Promise conference

Loving this view from the hotel room!!! #amazing

Loving this view from the hotel room!!! #amazing

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Be Careful Who You Allow in Your Garden

Watch Your Garden

I was reading this Bible passage and the Lord spoke to me loud and clear.

1Kings 13 talks about a man that the Lord told not to eat or drink from anyone on his way back to Judah. Sure enough, although this man heard the Lord’s command, some guy comes along on his donkey to the man of God and invited him to come and eat with him at his home. The man of God refused and told the guy on the donkey that the Lord already told him that he shouldn’t eat anything in this place. So the guy with the donkey lies and says that he is a prophet and an angel of the Lord says that he should come with him and so that he could give him something to eat and drink. So he went!

UGH!! When I read this passage, I was so frustrated because I saw so many lessons in this.  Long story short (read the chapter when you get a chance), of course the Lord sent a prophet to tell him that he defiled the Lords command and therefore he had to be punished. After he left the man with the donkey’s house, as he was traveling, a lion came out to kill him. This is a little extreme but the story has so many lessons to offer.

Recently I have been studying betrayal and church hurt. I started reading a book by Dr. Kynan Bridges called Unmasking the Accuser. In the first few pages the book he introduced the idea that the enemy uses people to do his dirty work, figure out who the real enemy is! Sometimes they come from your home, your church, your department, etc. Boy do I know that’s the truth!! As I was reading the bible passage, I was reminded that you can’t trust what everyone says. Even those that should have your best interest at heart. It can be someone who lives in your home. You cannot say, just because that’s my ___, they gotta be on team Kence! You will be fooled and eventually hurt if you aren’t on your guard.  This man in the passage was minding his purpose but then someone came with a believable lie and basically made him forget what the Lord said.

Lesson: Stay focused! Don’t allow anyone to force you to detour from your purpose. Not even the ‘most influential’ person! (e.g. your mom/dad, boss, hubby/wifey). Taking from the lesson of my auntie Eve and uncle Adam in Genesis, be careful who you listen to! Be careful of the voices you allow in your garden, they may just mess things up for you! Remember what the Lord spoke to you! Do whatever it takes to make Him proud and don’t expect people to agree with you! People may even try to hit you with the Word. Remember the guy in the passage said, he was a prophet too ((insert side-eye here)). Be mindful that the enemy knows the word and will twist it and use it against you if that’s what it takes to ensnare you! Take it easy. Remember what the Lord told you and remain focused on that! That’s the DIME I got for y’all. I hope you were blessed and find encouragement in this.

Until Next Post…

~ Kence

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Snapshot from the Beach in Bahamas last week!

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