(Almost better than my mom Papaya Juice)

 What are you Filled With?

I find that I have friends that always seem to be ‘busy’ doing stuff. Many times I wonder what is the fruit of their busy-ness!?! After some thought, I realized that their cups are full of stuff. Just stuff. They fill up their time and energy doing stuff. As I started to think about this, the Holy Spirit dropped a DIME about filling up your cup (time and energy) with meaningless tasks and things just to look a certain way. This blog post is to encourage everyone to stop trying to do what seems cool, cute, ‘godly’, popular, etc. Do what you know is right and Christ-centered. Let’s veer away from doing things for show… after all who cares what the people think!? They will not be signing your approval ticket to heaven!

(Photos from dinner in Boca Chica, Dominican Republic)

Toxins

Be careful not to fill your cup with toxins. Many things can be considered a toxin: friends or relationships, TV shows we watch (ratchet TV), or simply being too busy for anyone or anything. These things serve as distractions. We must fill our cups with substance that will sustain us. Stop wasting time with temporary satisfaction (lustful things) that will make us feel good for the moment. Something like drinking for a Friday night buzz, then waking up to a hangover on Saturday. It might be difficult to enjoy the next day because you are suffering for that temporary buzz you wanted the night before. Whether your Friday night toxin is a relationship that you cherish so much, or even some activity that you spend unnecessary time on, when they are gone, they may leave you lonely, hurt and damaged.

Too much ‘good’ stuff

There is definitely such thing as too much good stuff. We all know that cake is not a good food, but foods like peanuts, bananas or avocados are likely to be classified as good food. There is such thing as having too much of these, it can become an issue. Filling up our cups with good stuff is cool but remember it’s just stuff! Things like working to make money, working endlessly on educating yourself to get the next level of qualifications, or even volunteering for all sorts of events. Keep in mind that you cannot work your way into heaven. Your works will not be the reason you get in, so fill your cup up with substance, not works to be seen or stuff to impress!

The good thing

Let’s fill ourselves up with God! The bible says that once we seek the Kingdom, all the other stuff will follow (Matthew 6:33). Notice the order? The Kingdom first. Then everything else will come. You will get what you need and the ‘good’ stuff. Filling up your cup with God is full of benefits! You will gain fruit and show it. That’s your substance. With this substance, you will also be able to fill someone else up! You will (naturally) give people what you have. Thus, when you are filled with good substance, you can pour out good substance. If you only have a cup filled of nothingness, that’s what you will spread.

God-Sized void

There is a God-sized void that can only be filled with God! No thing or person will ever be able to fill it. If you put a circular object in a square hole, there will always be space that is not filled, which will cause disappointment. One day the harsh reality will come when you realize that money cannot buy you happiness, that relationship that seemed so perfect falls apart, or your education just could not get you that perfect job you thought you were qualified to land. The hard core truth is that people and things will certainly let you down. If that is what you fill your cup with, you will one day find yourself devastated when they are gone. Fill your cup with substance that will give you life and last to the end of time.

Until Next Post…

-Kence

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Graduate From Former Relationships

I was listening to a woman tell her story and she said something that blew my mind! So I revamped it and put it on my Facebook page:

“When a PURPOSEFUL relationship has FULFILLED its purpose, its over! These relationships can last 3 weeks, 6 months, or 25 years! Learn what you were supposed to learn, and move on! It was purposeful, not a forever thing. –Even if they want to ‘go back to the way it was/used to be.’ You can’t! You have learned what you were supposed to, you fulfilled purpose there, and learned your lesson. Now you should move on to mold into what you were created to be.”

I could probably go on and on about this topic. But MAN did it hit me over the head when I heard it. I am a people pleaser. Often times, I sacrifice a lot in order to make sure that the people around me are comfortable. Most especially my friends and family. I aim to make quality time with me pleasant and effortless. When it comes to bad news or even sticking up for myself, I have trouble (so I hold it in –which is obviously NOT GOOD!). Overtime, I know I should not stick around people that make me feel this way, but I have so much trouble letting go and moving on. Mostly, it’s because I don’t want to hurt them (believe it or not) even in situations where they have hurt or offended me.

Moving on for what Purpose?

This can change for any relationship. Some people passed through your live to teach you patience. They show you patience in everything. They do not yell, they teach you through their actions. Some are there to help you through school. There are those friends that hold you accountable with your schoolwork and keep you grounded when you want to give up on your journey to graduation. You may find people that came through your life to enhance your knowledge. They are skilled in what they do. They teach you the art/skill needed to build a business, (like using a computer software or curling hair). You learn that they are a great teacher but besides what they are an expert at; they bear no real good fruit… In every relationship, you both should benefit. For example a working relationship: maybe you are good at delegating tasks and they are good at executing. That’s good. When you get to the place where your business flourishes and you need more, you will have to get new people that can do more or teach you other skills necessary to make the business thrive.

After hearing about this purposeful relationships thing, it clicked! All of this served a purpose! The bible says that we should be happy in our times of suffering because it builds perseverance, character and hope (Romans 5: 3-4). When we get to these moments where we realize that we can no longer keep the company we have been entertaining, or that our current friends have served their purpose, it’s time to let go and move on. Pray for the Lord to guide you as you act obediently. But this is not to say cut off all your friends because they serve you no purpose. No! Not what I’m saying. You must exercise discernment as you examine the relationships in your life. We know that you should know people by their fruit (Matt. 7:18-20). If you know that every time you are with this individual, you magically start gossiping or doing unruly acts, perhaps they aren’t good company. Another example is when you realize that the conversation is dry! When you talk about your passions or your calling, they don’t want to hear it or simply change the topic to a TV show they watched last year or the next place they want to take you out. That stuff is not impressive! They should be teaching you as you teach them. If they aren’t passionate about the things you are passionate about, they should at least show interest. Once you begin to bear fruit and you notice that the people around you are not comfortable with your growth, that’s it! That’s the cue. You have grown out of that relationship; move on!

That’s it?!?!

When you a purpose-fulfilled relationship is expired, this does not always mean that you should cut them off and never see them again. It means that you are no longer operating this relationship in the same capacity. If you called your girlfriend everyday and conversation becomes long gossip chats before, start calling her less often simply to check in and see how she is doing, offer advice when asked, and even pray with her. If it’s a romantic relationship, obviously, it’s scissor season… Chop, chop! No need for further communication with an ex-boyfriend because you may find yourself still ‘kicking it’ with him later, saying, “We’re just friends!” Save yourself the later drama, cut him off. But you can still be {facebook} friends! He can see the life update as you update statuses for the world to see. Be sure not to entertain that DM when he tries to ‘slide’ and see how you doing.

Be mindful that you will never find a perfect friend or man here on earth. You can, however, grow out of people like you grow out of clothes. It’s ok as long as you recognize it and get new ones before you damage the current clothes. We do not want to damage our relationships with these people if we stick around expecting them to be on this new level with us. Recognize that you have outgrown that relationship and you may need to move on in order to learn more. I like to think of it like high school. You cannot stay. It was nice. You learned. But you have to move on to college. You can go back and visit or even be a guest speaker, but you are no longer able to sit in those seats and expect to elevate to the next level. Get around people that are better than you and are who you want to be.

Congratulations! If you are reading this, you are probably soon to be a graduate of some relationship. This could be an old fling you just could not shake or an old friend. Often time we put on our superman hats and just want to save relationships that we have graduated from; It’s time to move on! I pray that the Lord will give you the strength, courage and boldness to make the move.

Happy moving, folks!

Until next post,

-Kence

Photo Credit: My dear friend, Tammy

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A little busy, Show a little sympathy

Why am I so busy!?:

 I have realized that what others do in a week, I can get done in a day. I have an itch to do more. Every other day I want to stop and ‘pipe down’ so that I can ‘be normal’. Normal: Wake up, go to work, get home (be tired) and go to sleep. Then I realize that not being normal is ok! Some days I don’t go to sleep until late and wake up extremely early. I’m sometimes reading or watching videos on my next project (whether that’s a topic I’m studying to teach, workouts I’m preparing, or just filling myself up with knowledge –sometimes just mindless reruns of my old favorite television shows). Not everyone can achieve or do what you can. I have learned that I have to find my thing and just be great at that. Even if people don’t get it or think I’m weird… just be your greatness and try not to knock the people that don’t get it, they will ‘get it’ when they find their thing!

A heart of sympathy:

I used to get frustrated when people ‘act lazy’ or couldn’t keep up. I have grown to know that it’s just who they are. Not everyone is built with the same type of stamina for the things that I am good at or enjoy doing. I see people who have a fire for Christ and can pray for hours on in, yet they can’t run a mile –that’s just not their thing. Or people that can speak very well in public but cannot cook for nothing. Or even people that volunteer for every single church event but can never really get to their bible to do their own personal devotions. As you can see from these very bogus examples, they are unrelated because people have their own gifts. Each of us has our own gifts (Romans 12:6-8), be sympathetic to those that do not have your gift(s) as they try to give it their best (Colossians 3:23). If the prayer warrior wants to lose weight but can’t keep up with your daily 3 mile running challenge, take baby steps –take them walking as they teach you to pray. Start with one mile. Eventually, maybe during your walks with the prayer warrior, you will learn to pray more fervently and they will begin to jog. When we have sympathy (insert patience here too), we are then better able to shine our light so that people can see the God in you (Matt. 5:14-16).

When you get overwhelmed, be careful not to snap on the people around. You can take a step back to be sure to show some compassion to the person struggling to do what they are not naturally comfortable doing. No matter what type of warrior you are (walking, prayer, public speaker, volunteer warrior, etc.), demonstrate compassion and you will be showing people the love of God.

until next post…

– Kence

Bible references:

“We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your faith; if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead, do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully.”

Romans 12:6-8

https://www.bible.com /bible/111/ROM.12.6-8

“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters,”

Colossians 3:23

https://www.bible.com/bible/111/COL.3.23

““You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.”

Matthew 5:14-16

https://www.bible.com/bible/111/MAT.5.14-16

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