Healer Not a Hurter
In honor of Haitian Flag Day (May 18), I decided to make this post to talk about the struggle of being a child of Immigrants but born in America with dark skin.
Often people call me Black and keep it moving. More recently I have been building the confidence to say “I prefer Haitian.” Growing up in Palm Beach County with a healthy Haitian population and plenty of Black American’s, this touchy topic could quickly turn into a serious debate. My Black-American friends would argue that I am not White, and my skin color is similar to theirs, so I’m Black. Though it may be true that my skin is brown, it is also true that my struggles are different from my Black friends.
Generally, Black-Americans talk about their ancestors’ experiences in America as slaves and other mistreatment or forms of inequality. All of which, I have been made to understand from History courses in grade school. Many of my Black-American friends are 1 or 2 generations removed from slavery (so their great grandparents were probably slaves), which makes this topic very close to home for them. I cannot relate to slavery, I have only heard stories, read history books, or watched a few movies that depicted this type of family genealogy.
I grew up with Haitian immigrant parents. Though all of our skin look similar to my Black-American friends, we do not have the same experiences. Due to Haitian parent pride, it has always been really hard to get real stories from my parents about their per-America struggles… so we will only discuss what I know and have experienced as a Haitian-American. I was born and raised in Florida (USA). My parents got to Florida a year before my birth. By second grade, because I was able to read (very basic words) and write, I was forced (along with my sister- we took turns) to pay bills and do all formal translations for my parents. Now for my Black-American friends, they may think why did I have to do such a thing? They sometimes even ask if there were services available to help my parents… but the truth is besides Spanish, those services are not that popular. Today, the school boards have gotten up-to-date and have moved to hire Haitian staff to help translate forms and such, but not in my day! My struggles as a kid were normal but also included growing up way too quickly because the bills needed to be paid and mom and dad could not do that without my reading and writing skills.
I would say that I have had an immigrant’s kid struggle. So when my Black-American friends get offended that I do not like to be called Black, but Haitian… understand that as much as I respect the things that their ancestors have gone through, my ancestry is a little different. My parents did not speak English, were not able to read and write (any language), but they had to navigate through life in America by learning a whole new culture. Although I cannot say that my grandparents or theirs were slaves, I can say that living in America has not been a smooth ride for my parents or family. We struggle. A similar struggle but a different kind of struggle. So please, do not take offense when I identify as Haitian-American but not Black-American. My ancestry and my familial struggles, have made me proud to use this combo as my racial/ethnic description. So until further notice, I will always use the “Other” checkbox to describe me.
In the past month, I went away for a well needed time away. I went on a mini tour. Went to a cruise with my friend and my god daughter, then we church hopped in several cities in Florida, then I went to Pinky Promise in Atlanta, Georgia. Throughout that time, I was silent because I wanted to receive all that the Lord was showing/telling me and really just wanted to unplug and be refreshed. It was such a great time away!! Sometimes we’ve got to take a break from pouring into others so that you can receive. While I was away the Lord started to remind me of the talent that I keep trying to keep in a hole. My voice. My song.
My friends know that I sometimes suffer from extremely random shyness. Sometimes that thing is crazy! I am an outspoken person but can really find myself super shy when it comes to certain things (like singing). It’s almost crazy how I can speak to thousands of people at work but I have such a hard time singing in front of two. So I have been on a hunt to find my song (that thing I once buried). This has truly been such a hard lesson for me. Hence the long silence because I didn’t know what to tell the people.
The Lord reminded me of the story of the talents from Matthew 25:15-30. Basically the Master gave three people with talents according to their abilities. To one he gave 5 talents, to another 2, and to the other 1 talent. Later the Master returned to see what they did with the talents that He entrusted them with. The first two people doubled theirs, the last one that only had 1 talent, decided to hide it underground until the Master came back for it. Needless to say, Master was disappointed and took his one and gave it to the one who had ten.
I have heard this so many times but I definitely never stopped to think that I was the guy with the 1 talent. Singing has always been that talent I would just bury and pull it out for the master when it was time for the check-in (basically sing in the background). Sure enough, the Lord made it clear that I was not using my talent the way that I should. I should be making it grow, nurture it! In January this year, after years of fighting with the Lord, I joined the worship team (still currently dragging my feet to obedience). I found myself in a place where I could sing but “please no solos.” Too much attention to this talent that caused me to want to bury it further. So of course fear of judgement has always been surrounding my singing. At the conference in Atlanta, I attended a worship leaders workshop and they made it so simple. Keep singing so that you can keep singing. It is now my goal to use my talent to generate a better talent. Sounds overly simple but I know that it was not a co-incidence that the Word was aligned with that super simply lesson about how to perfect my skills as a worship leader. So now, if they pass me a mic, I wipe away the nervous tear and I step up to the challenge so that when the Master returns and asks me about this talent, I can be just as proud as the man with ten talents (who got that extra one in the end for his faithful work).
DIME: Nourish the talent(s) the Lord gave to you! If not, you may find that He takes it away from you. Don’t be mad at the one person that always seems to have/be good at everything. Be faithful with the little gift the Lord has given you and watch Him multiply it and then tell you Well done!
I pray you are blessed by this DIME. Let’s go out boldly and use our talents for the glory of the Lord and watch Him supply you with more!
Developing the right “Sis-mance”
How to overcome awkwardness & make Qualified Friends
Happy 2018 Everyone!! I am so excited to be back in action. I have had so many DIMES piling up. This post will discuss overcoming awkwardness and making the right friends.
I know the term Bro-Mance is a term coined to talk about the relationship between two males, so I figured I’d talk about our relationships with other women. I find that I am often really awkward. This may stem from me being self-conscious of how I will be perceived by new people. Regardless, I just get awkward sometimes. #FakeShy I started to pray about this at the beginning of the year to discover why I have this issue and how I can overcome it. I have learned a few things and I just want to share some tips with any of you that may need help overcoming your awkward.
Ladies, lets be clear, just like you may not find a quality man at the club, you will not find a quality friend just anywhere. You’ve got to be at the right place. The other day, I finally decided that it was time for me to go to the pool. (It was my New Year’s thing for 2018) I timidly walked into the pool and this girl was there. She welcomed me and just started helping with my technique. (Look at God!) If I kept avoiding the darn pool, I would have never found a new friends that would help me gain the courage to begin swimming. You can find quality friends anywhere you can find people doing quality activities. Work, church, volunteering, dance classes, etc. When we find these people in quality places that we enjoy being at, we will enjoy their company. Get out there! Your sister to help you in this season is out there doing something that you want to start doing.
Growing up in a Haitian house the term “Sou Moun” (translated directly to English as ‘On people’) describes an individual that can be seen as needy or always seeking attention from people. For example, walking up to new people and asking too many questions or asking for too much. Now-a-days we may say “she’s so extra!” or “That girl is doing too much!” All of these are modern ways of saying someone is sou moun. We were taught to stay in our place and never do too much! Needless to say, this has shaped my personality and is likely the cause to my awkwardness. Haitians would practically embarrass you for being sou moun! So it was evident early on that you should never ‘do too much.’ SMH This is definitely why your girl can easily get fake shy when naturally this is not what my out-of-the-box personality wants to do. The fix here is just be sou moun! Be on people!!! No matter what people (including my parents) have to say, I try so hard to just get out of my head and just walk up to people and talk to them. Operation ignore the shy girl in my head.
Often times, I think we confuse what our parents, peers, and/or society wants us to be for who we really are. Just be you. Unapologetically! It’s important. If you are not living in truth, eventually you will get tired of faking it and you will slip. I can’t be shy for too long, at some point someone will say something that will make me want to jump out of my ‘shy’ self and say something! You can’t make real friends if you show them your fake side (the side you think they will approve of). Eventually they will smell through the fake and know exactly who you are. Be you! They will either hate it or love it. If your worry about how people feel about you cause you to change just to seek their approval or friendship, you’re really just losing yourself to gain a friend. Your hunt to finding a quality friend should include you being a quality person. You are the best quality when you are yourself.
Have you ever had those friends that make you work too hard!?! Its like going to the gym and picking up a 10 lb set of weights because you thought you could handle it. Then after 5 minutes into the workout, you realize that weight might make it hard for you to keep up for the duration of the class. So if you are me, you will ditch it for the 2.5 lb weights and keep it pushing!
Some of our friends are needy! They require too much energy just to keep them happy enough not to ruin everyone else’ day. Its ok to give validation to your friends (iron sharpens iron). But when all you do is pour into them and you aren’t receiving, this is a place of concern. This sisterhood is certainly not healthy. You should always have a friend that can give to you as much as you give. Not saying an eye for an eye, but balance. If your friends love language is acts of service, you should be willingly helping her do things. If your love language is words of affirmation, its fair to find a friend that will compliment you when you got on cute shoes or a new hair do.
All of this is not to replace your man, but in any -ship (relationship, friendship, etc.) this is really the bare minimum. If you hold this standard, you can easily gain quality friends and keep your Sis-Mance poppin’. No one likes losing friends, but if we ensure that we are ourselves ALWAYS, there’s nothing to lose, just plenty of friends to gain.
Until next post…
See the video of what Kence Possible was doing in the Sunshine State. Spent Christmas 2016 and Brought in the New Year in Florida
Hey everyone!! Check out this video that will reveal 10 facts about me. I hope you enjoy this fun video. Be sure to share! Let me know if you have any questions.
Thank you to everyone that came to the Blog Launch! I am so overwhelmed by the response. I’m so happy that you all believe in my vision and are all on board to watch as this journey unfolds for the Glory of God. I hope you all enjoyed the performers and the vibes that night. A special thank you to my staff that helped me put together the show and pull this thing off! I love and appreciate y’all!
I hope to post something every week, so stay tuned. Be sure to sign up to be apart of the email list on the ‘Home Page’ so you know when the latest posts come out. Below you will find a few images from the party. You can see more on the ‘KP Launch Gallery.’
Last week I went hiking with my friends for the Women of Valor Hike Against Cancer. Man o man, did I have to talk myself up to go. I came up with every excuse I knew just to escape. I told them about my fear of deer, I told them my car needed to go to the shop and my asthma might attach my life. Thank God my friends aren’t moved by my many convincing excuses and they countered each one. Needless to say, I went and enjoyed myself. Lesson: get out of your comfort zone! Your courage to get out of your comfort zone will allow you to learn and see new things you wouldn’t encounter in the old places you’re used to!
The beginning of our journey…
Posing with these beautiful ladies
A beautiful view behind me…
I was out of breath! Finally got to the top of Thisbe BIG hill
At the top!! Hard work officially paid off…
Earned a staff 😏