Leaving the ‘Good Man’ in pursuit of God’s Best Match

Having faith is hard! The Bible says in Hebrews that Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. The NIV translation says it’s CONFIDENCE in what we hope for and assurance of what we do not see! (Hebrews 11:1)

It is tough to defend your faith to those that don’t have faith the way you do. I once had what people would call a ‘good man.’ (Let’s call him, George) He was friendly and charming to everyone he met. But he wasn’t what I was praying for. George was nice and patient.  He was friendly to the people he met.  So naturally when I decided to leave, everyone including him was confused. They then turned to say things like, “You’re too picky!” “You don’t know what you really want!” “You’ll never find a man because you’re looking for perfection.” These comments are those that stem from people who don’t understand my faith! 

I decided a few years ago that I would be celibate and wait on the Lord to bring me my Husband. I had a really detailed dream back in September 2013 and the Lord basically told me that I better take heed to Matthew 6:33 (But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.)

 I like to call this dream my #Bobby dream. (Bob, Like Bone of my Bone 😉) Shortly after the Bobby dream, I wrote down very vague qualities for “Mr. Right.” It said Patient. Friendly. And something about dealing with my nasty attitude. Sometime after, I met a ‘good guy’ and I just wanted it to work so bad. Perhaps because by then I was tired of seeing my friends get married, have children and leave me behind. So I desperately accepted the attention. My justification: it wasn’t like I was dating a ratchet thug from the streets of Miami, FL or Newark, NJ. The George’s I’ve dated were kinda Christian (go to church when it’s convenient and believe in God). Pleasant. Fun to hang with and talk to. But not what I needed to sustain a family of 8. I know (now) that I need a patient Man of God that recognizes that we are children of the King and have a standard of living. (Kreole: Gin yon Jan pou’l ye!) We’re set apart. We should not be ‘dating’ like others.  We shouldn’t be living like others. Things should be a little different for us. Even if they deem us a misfit, it’s ok!! We’re #KingdomApproved. 👑


 2Corinthian 6:14- Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? Being unevenly yoked isn’t simply for unbelievers and Christians. It’s also with people that are in different places on their faith than you.  My convictions may be different than the people that have been around me for years. I’m growing! They may be growing at a slower pace or they may even be stagnant.  It then becomes my responsibility to lead and be the example. (Which can become tiring because the Man is the Head of the Home). 

So while I was with this George, I sat and wrote a DETAILED list of must haves for #Bobby (Kindhearted Man of God led by the Spirit that can gently correct me when I’m wrong. Praying man who isn’t afraid to express his love for the Lord, even if that means shedding a tear during praise and worship). Not meaning the past Georges were mishaps or screw ups.  George was just an eye opener for me!  I have gained friendships with all of them but have decided that I can’t stay just because he’s a ‘good man’ according to people. George was/is a good man, he’s just not what I have been believing God for. I am confident that although the Bone of my Bone (‘Bobby’) isn’t here yet, he WILL come. And the Lord will fulfill my heart’s desires (Psalms 37:4-5) as I trust in Him and wait patiently for Him to come through!! 


To my single sisters dating a ‘good man’ but your gut/heart isn’t settled.  Keep praying and seek the Lord’s Will/purpose for your life. Being single is a beautiful thing. But it may get lonely. That’s when you lean on your fellow single sisters until the Lord sends you you’re BOBby! He will be serious and want to court you the right way. There will be no second guessing. He will take your relationship seriously and treat you like a delicate flower.  He will love you like Christ loved the church. He can only do that if he KNOWS himself how much Christ loved the church.  Be sure he is equipped to lead your home, because you’ll need to submit to that man! I hope this encourages someone that it’s ok to leave the ‘good man’ in order to pursue the Lord’s Purpose for your life.  Trust what you know! Believe even if others don’t see things the way you do. 

Until next post,

May the Lord Bless y’all!

– Kence 


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