Beware of the “Supporting Hater”
We all have them… the ‘supporting haters’ in our midst. They appear to be friends or friendly but it feels like they are out to get you. Almost like wolves in sheep’s clothing. A few examples can a co-worker that compliments your outfit but then ends up gossiping about your attire to someone else in the office (‘she thinks she’s cute!’ or ‘did you see how tight her dress was?!’). Another example is the friend of yours that should be happy to know you were engaged or having a baby but as she says congratulations, you can’t help but to notice her sour face as if she really isn’t happy for your new achievement.
We all have some sort of ‘supporting’ hater nearby. They don’t always have to be friends but they’re there. Sometimes it’s a complete stranger that comes up to you on an off day and sarcastically says I like your hair, and you know darn well your hair is a hot mess! What do you do? Do you retort and say “I know you think you’re being funny but I know I’m having a bad hair day,” do you ignore? Do you snap back and talk about their downfall(s)? In this post, I want to share biblically supported actions to take when dealing with the supporting haters around you.
Avoid these people
Proverbs 20:19 say: A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid anyone who talks too much.
Realize that you cannot be heroic! Sometimes only God can save people from the mess that they are in and teach them the lesson. When you recognize the stubborn folks that are hard headed and may never change the bad habit of talking about people, you’ve got to just leave them alone! You may need to see these people in your everyday life. They may be coworkers, or in ministry with you. Best course of action is to not do any extra (unnecessary) activities with them. Steer clear. You won’t get entangled in their dramatic shenanigans if you are only around when you need to be around. Be sure that you set an example when you are around. Above all else we should love our neighbors, even when they don’t seem lovable.
Watch and Pray
Luke 21:36: Be always on the watch, and pray that you may be able to escape all that is about to happen, and that you may be able to stand before the Son of Man.”
Matthew 5:44 But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you
Now that you recognize the people around you that are ‘supporting haters,’ … WATCH OUT! You see that they aren’t necessarily looking out for your best interest but this does not excuse you from the commandment to love them. Now all you need to do is pray for them. Be sure to pray for these people because you can never be sure what they are suffering from. The fruit of gossip or hating is coming from a deeper root. That root can be jealousy, resentment, or even something that stems from childhood that had nothing to do with you. These fruits never grow overnight; they stem from longstanding (sometimes reoccurring) issues in their lives. They must be uprooted, only prayer can do this.
All in all, be compassionate with the supporting haters. There is a reason for their actions that many times you will never know. So watch out for the supporting haters, but continue to love them and pray for them. It seems like it’s easier said than done, but once you genuinely start praying for them, your heart will change toward them and it will get easier to love them from a distance. See them through the eyes of the Lord (lenses of grace and patience). I pray that you all found this helpful. This is a lesson that I am constantly walking through and praying for the Lord’s guidance. I pray that even as these supporting haters come, you will easily be able to recognize them and you will not be fooled by their tactics that will drive you to anger or other sins. Know who you are! You are a child of the Most High, you do not need anyone’s approval but Him.
Until next post…